Finally, a Fitzgerald novel. You might ask why I chose to read this one next - well, the answer is because this novel is based on several of Scott's close friends and, of course, Zelda. The story examines the complex lives of Dick and Nicole Diver - the rise of their marriage, their golden days together, and their collapse.

It's a difficult read. It isn't because the writing is hard to comprehend (in fact, it's actually very easy to follow); it's because you know the book is telling the story of the Fitzgeralds' marriage through Scott's eyes. Zelda despised the novel according to Z. "He'd made his not-me into a half-homicidal incest victim whose eventual health  comes only through the complete destruction of her once-exalted husband's life. I couldn't get any distance from it, couldn't separate myself from his Nicole."

The reader isn't aware that Nicole has a history of mental illness until Book 2 of the novel. It comes as a bit of a shock, because her character is so admired by young Rosemary Hoyt, who stumbles upon Nicole and Dick's social circle while vacationing on the French Riviera. Rosemary describes Nicole as "one of the most beautiful people she had ever known," with "the face of a saint, a Viking Madonna." Her feelings for Dick, though, far overshadow any kind feelings she may have had for his wife. The young girl, just entering adulthood, sets her sights on winning the affection of Dr. Diver - and although he initially resists, professing his love for Nicole, he eventually falls head over heels for the actress. 

Sidebar: Although Dick Diver is supposed to be based on Scott's friend Gerald, might this affair be based on Ernest Hemingway and long-time-mistress-turned-wife Pauline? Think about it: Hemingway and Hadley were both fast friends with Pauline (a younger, attractive model). They even traveled together - with groups of friends and on more intimate adventures - and while friends thought the Hemingway's marriage was strong, Ernest was seeing Pauline, which blindsided Hadley. And, the infidelity ruined their marriage. Coincidence?

As you read further, you learn that Dick, a psychiatrist, met Nicole as a patient in a mental hospital. They fell in love and eventually married, and Nicole's money (combined with Dick's income) allowed them to live a lavish lifestyle. In their prime, they threw extravagant dinner parties and wore the finest tailored clothes in stores. Dick was, as Fowler wrote, exalted. He was a well-renowned doctor, and a person of the highest social status. But when his heart tore away from Nicole for the first time, and when Nicole's mental instability appeared, his much-adored world began to falter.

Much like Fitzgerald, Dick left the comfort of his home and friends in order to allow Nicole to recover elsewhere. The more he sacrifices for her, and the more she acts erratically, the more Dick's work suffers and his spirit diminishes. Like Scott, he becomes increasingly dependent on alcohol. He resigns from his practice, he finds himself in jail and unwanted at social gatherings. Meanwhile, Nicole finds herself growing stronger only as she gains independence from Dick. And she finally "frees" herself after she leaves him. 

It really is a very hard novel to read when you know that Scott wrote it about his marriage to Zelda. Although she resented him for the novel, it might have been exactly how he experienced their rocky relationship. Her health issues took a very large toll on his work, but could her illness have been caused by his behavior? Some would argue "yes."  Either way, Scott obviously felt defeated by his wife's quest for freedom from her mental illness, and you can't help but feel sorry for him. Nobody wants to see a man of that charm, talent and charisma lose his way (unless you're the competition). I recommend Tender is the Night to people interested in finding out Scott's side of the story, but prepare yourself for despair.

The man behind The Great Gatsby mystifies me to no end. I learned intimate details about his life through Z and The Paris Wife,  but I really wanted to get to know him through his own stories about himself. What were his inspirations? Who was his Gatsby? How many of the characters and events in his books stemmed from personal experience? So, I picked up a copy of F. Scott Fitzgerald: A Short Autobiography and got to work.

The book contains a collection of Fitzgerald's short stories, some unfinished, most published in various popular magazines, spanning his entire professional career (1920-1940). The stories are reflective of many things - family, finances, children, morals, education - all of which prove me right when I say that this man was brilliant. For example, the second story in the book, "An Interview with Mr. Fitzgerald by F. Scott Fitzgerald," is an interview with himself shortly after the publication of This Side of Paradise. 

He writes: "The author of This Side of Paradise is sturdy, broad-shouldered and just above medium height. He has blond hair with the suggestion of a wave and alert green eyes - the melange somewhat Nordic - and good-looking too, which was disconcerting as I had somehow expected a thin nose and spectacles." How long do you think it took him to nail that self-portrait down? He goes on to describe his life plans, his writing style, his thoughts on literary tradition and style - the following quote:

All of the stories in the collection are very entertaining. One thing I can say about Fitzgerald's prose is that it takes me a lot longer than usual to read than most authors, because it challenges me intellectually - his sentences are complex, so while I'm deciphering the metaphors, analogies, descriptive paragraphs and references in one Fitzgerald paragraph, I could probably have read twenty pages of Fifty Shades of Grey. I can only hope to construct stories that flow as well as "How to Live on $36,000 a Year"  and "How to Live on Practically Nothing a Year," both illustrating the financial troubles the young author and his wife experienced (told, of course, in a very humorous light) in his early days of fame. 

Several insightful and thought-provoking stories covering a wide variety of controversial topics fill the rest of the book, but the one thing that really stuck in my mind was this list from "Wait Till You Have Children of Your Own!" - the five ways in which he says his children's world will be different than his own:

The world might just be a better, more productive place if the Fitzgerald child-rearing method becomes a standard practice. 

After finishing Z (and recommending it to all of my friends), I was compelled to read as much as I possibly could about the expatriates in the social circle of Fitzgerald and Hemingway. One of the books recommended to me was the best-seller "The Paris Wife" by Paula McLain, a novel told through the eyes of Hadley Hemingway, Ernest's first wife. I am so glad I read it when I did.

If you're a serial reader like myself, you can't go wrong reading this book after you've finished the story of Zelda's life with husband F. Scott Fitzgerald. As Z narrates the intricate F. Scott Fitzgerald-Ernest Hemingway bond formed in Paris through Zelda's eyes, The Paris Wife does the same through Hadley's eyes, also shedding light on how other people perceive Zelda and her eccentricities. It's the perfect recipe for obsession. 

The story paints a bleak picture of a girl in her twenties, slightly depressed, uninvested in her own life. Both of Hadley's parents had passed away, her depressed father committed suicide in their family home, and her controlling, feminist mother had recently died of an illness. Hadley, who could have had her own job and home at this point in her life, was single and living temporarily with her sister and her husband in St. Louis. Then she met Ernest.

It's another whirlwind romance, much like the Fitzgeralds: an unlikely match - naive, understated Hadley and exciting, ambitious (and younger) budding author Ernest that begins on a trip to Chicago and results in an abundance of heartfelt letters written back and forth. The transformation of Hadley's attitude is nothing short of captivating - the once emotionally-drained girl in her mid-to-late-twenties becomes excited, eager to receive mail from Ernest. After reading their many correspondences, I honest-to-God wanted to start writing love letters to my husband from work. Handwritten letters are such a lost romance.

The two marry quickly. They venture to Paris, living in a meager apartment as Ernest begins his writing career. They soon find friends in the same expatriate circle as Z - Ezra Pound, Gertrude Stein, F. Scott Fitzgerald. Hadley has few friends and often finds herself biding her time alone at the apartment, waiting for Ernest to come back from his writing quarters elsewhere. Hadley would do anything for the betterment of Ernest, something that Ernest reciprocates for a while, but stops dramatically toward the end of the novel.

Hadley isn't your typical 1920s Parisian housewife - instead of joining the latest fashion trends, she sticks to her modest attire. She bobs her hair but instantly regrets it. She's a stark contrast to Zelda Fitzgerald's lavish Parisian lifestyle. And Ernest loves her all the more for being that way, appreciating her sensible nature. 

Allow me to digress for just a few sentences. If you read Z before you read The Paris Wife, you learned that Ernest Hemingway is not the man that Hadley thinks he is. He attempts to seduce Zelda, and Zelda sees him all over town with other women, including the tragic antagonist in the novel, Pauline. You would think that reading Z first would spoil the ending of The Paris Wife. However, it intensifies the reading so much more - you know what's really happening, and you want to yell things at your book to get Hadley to stop it. But you can't. You can only sit back and read it as it plays out.

Moving on, there's a turning point in the book, when Hadley joins Ernest on a trip, attempting to take his life's worth of writing in a valise so he can show it for possible publication, but it gets stolen on the train. His forgiveness is never complete. He tries, you can tell, but the wound it causes in their relationship never completely heals. 

As you continue to read, you can see the relationship unraveling as Hadley tries harder and harder to win Ernest's affections back. It's difficult to read, as you might find yourself pulling so hard for the sake of Hadley, who has devoted the last five years of her life to Ernest's work and has repeatedly been slighted by the person she loves most. Ernest and Hadley's relationship began so pure and true, so simple and passionate. As it draws to the end, you want so badly for Hadley to win. I find it hard to believe that all readers are not heartbroken as they read the final pages.

Books don't often make me show physical, outward emotion. They don't often find themselves in my hands for several hours at a time, either. But this one did both.

Therese Anne Fowler nailed it. The story of Zelda Fitzgerald, wife of F. Scott Fitzgerald, is absolutely mesmerizing. Buying the book is buying a ticket into the mind of an artist - you ride with Zelda on an emotional roller coaster from the beginning to the end of her relationship with Scott. And this isn't a one-ticket roller coaster, it's the big one - the one that makes you think you might be the first casualty at the theme park.

The novel starts in Montgomery, Alabama. Zelda seems like the relatively normal Southern teenager: about to celebrate her 18th birthday, a talented dancer, a volunteer for the local Red Cross chapter. But there's something different about her. She's ridiculously quick-witted. She has no filter, in conversations or in her behavior. And she's fun. She's really fun.

The romance between Zelda and Scott is breathtaking. In the early days of their courtship, he throws her an elaborate birthday bash in her hometown, very similar to Gatsby. As Scott is in the army, he soon begins traveling, penning a steady flow of correspondences with Zelda as he goes. The book reflects both Scott and Zelda's letters, and you soon realize that Zelda's talent for writing almost matches Scott's, an important point to remember as the book progresses.

You're then taken on a whirlwind adventure through the engagement and marriage of the two, which happens hours after Zelda arrives in New York City for the first time. It's amazing to see how Zelda's Southern ways quickly disintegrate - the city life and the flapper lifestyle are becoming increasingly popular, and she dives into it head first (literally, when she impulsively bobs her hair).  Her socially eccentric behaviors and attitudes are fueled by Scott, who insists on spending excessive amounts of money to showcase his success after the publication of This Side of Paradise. However, the money isn't always there, and you see the ups and downs a writer and writer's family experiences as the work comes and goes.

The novel portrays Scott's controlling behaviors in several ways, one strong representation occurring when Zelda gives birth to their daughter. During her pregnancy, the couple planned on naming the baby Patricia; however, in the delivery room, Scott insists on naming the girl after himself, calling her Scottie. Zelda disagrees, but Scott prevails, and Scottie was Scottie because of Scott's impulse. The famous "I hope she'll be a fool. That's the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool." comes from this delivery - Zelda wept it at her daughter's birth.

Zelda and Scott take Europe by storm, moving there at the suggestion that it will help Scott with his writing, because that's what several American writers are doing - packing up and moving into an exclusive expatriate circle of the rich and famous on the French Riviera. Said circle includes the likes of Ernest Hemingway (whom Scott takes a keen liking to - almost an obsession with) and Gertrude Stein - now known as The Lost Generation.

Wine. Whiskey. Affairs. Sunbathing. Dancing. Writing. Traveling. The lifestyle the couple leads in Paris is lavish and full of indulgent activities. You quickly see the deterioration of both Zelda and Scott's health, both mentally and physically. Scott drinks all the time. He's unfaithful to Zelda. When he's not writing, he's with Hemingway, helping him become an established author, or passing time one of the many bars on the Riviera. But he still loves his wife, always finding a way to hook her again after she begins to fade away from him.

Zelda takes interest in her own artistic talents - painting, writing, dancing. Writing is one of her strongest suits: she wrote stories for magazines under both her and Scott's name, in order to get the most money for it. The effect this has on her mentality is disastrous, though. Both she and Scott have egos the size of Manhattan, and as Scott's increases with his popularity, Zelda's begins to shrivel, taking her personality down with it. She compensates by throwing herself at her dancing, practicing ballet for hours a day, obsessively mastering technique until she's completely exhausted herself. You know, though, that her love for Scott is what's causing these obsessions - she's filling the void where he used to be, always by her side, now spending it with other people, women, friends and alcohol.

The climax of the novel happens toward the end. It's the event that we who have studied the lives of the Fitzgeralds know is coming - Zelda experiences a mental breakdown in a Parisian movie theater. From then on, she spends her life in and out of mental institutions (where, from the novel, it seems as though she isn't entirely sick), bouncing from one to another with long breaks in between, until her tragic ending.

SPOILER ALERT: The next paragraphs will reveal the end of the book. You've been warned!

The ending of the book made me cry. Twice. 

Zelda and Scott remained married, although they end up living in different places during their middle aged years. Zelda moves back to Montgomery, away from Scott and his lifestyle, for the sake of her mental health, while Scott moves to work on writing and movies in California and other places. 

Here's the first time I cried: While Zelda is in Montgomery, living at her parents' house, she receives news that Scott has died of a heart attack. There she is, in the same place where she used to wait anxiously for his letters to arrive during their courtship, now very much detached from him, and learning of his death. Instead of hopping on the train for his funeral, she stays. Her mental stability isn't strong enough. She never says goodbye.

To me, this was heartbreaking. You can almost visualize the couple becoming increasingly more dependent on each other, you can see their intense love and need for one another become stronger as you turn every page. In a way, the effect their lives have on each other lead to their destinies. Zelda's mental health takes a toll on Fitzgerald's work, her distractions causing him to "lose his touch" and struggle with his writing. Fitzgerald's lifestyle takes a toll on Zelda - his behaviors possibly being the reason for his wife's mental breakdown and eventual return to Montgomery. They are where they are, separated and broken versions of their once exuberant personas, because of each other. 

I wont tell you the second time I cried, although you already know what happens if you've studied the end of Zelda's life. I already knew, but the culmination of all of the emotions the novel stirred up inside of me made it impossible not to cry. 

If you haven't yet read this book, I encourage you to do so. Thank you, Therese Anne Fowler, for restoring my faith in literature. My addiction to books is again in full swing.

I should start by admitting that I won the Accelerated Reader contest in third grade. And fourth grade. And fifth grade. Reading has always been a large part of my life, more so in grade school, when my nightly routine ended by falling asleep with a book on my face, than my college years at Ole Miss, when my nights became a lot more social. There was a three to four year lull in my habitual reading, as I had a hard time finding a book that really grasped my attention enough to keep me away from the Oxford Square. 

Fast forward three years after college graduation. I'm 25 years old, it's spring of 2013, and The Great Gatsby comes out in theaters. Naturally, the bookworm in me insists that my husband and I see it during opening weekend - it's the only movie I've really wanted to see in a long, long time, and the book was my favorite assigned reading during high school. I liked the book so much that I even wrote my senior thesis about F. Scott Fitzgerald's personal life and career, which made it all the more important to go see Leonardo DiCaprio play Jay Gatsby, one of the most influential characters in my literary memory. While the film got mixed reviews, I was in the percentage that loved it. 

Recounting the events from the book sparked something in my mind. I wanted to learn more about Fitzgerald. I wanted to read. I wanted to find out what inspired this captivating story of the mysterious millionaire and his ultra-romantic affair with Daisy Buchanan. I found and read Z, a Novel of Zelda Fitzgerald, by Therese Anne Fowler. And so my blog begins.